Rhys Zep Clayton

Rhys Clayton
7 lbs, 10 oz
21 inches long
One full head of hair

Birth is a pretty amazing experience. Jen went through three hours of active labor! I am so proud of her for being so strong. I think all those walks and pregnancy yoga really paid off.

We're back home now getting adjusted to the new person living in our house (and sleeping in our bedroom). It has been both exciting and exhausting, often at the same time.

If there is one piece of advice I would give to new parents in this situation, it is establish a schedule and a routine as soon as you get home. Your baby may not follow your schedule, but at least you have a baseline from which to adjust. Our first couple of nights home were horrible. I think we got about 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night, broken up into many short stretches. Being so tired makes everything harder... you'll make the tiniest bit of progress on learning how to do this and be overjoyed, but you'll have the smallest mistep and you fall to very seriously questioning whether this whole baby thing was the right decision. Now that we're more or less well-rested, we don't suffer from such wild emotional swings (or at least I don't).

we're so happy to have this little fella. He seems healthy and is gaining weight. Pooping a lot. Peeing a lot, often on himself and others if his changer (i.e. dad) isn't paying attention. But that's all part of the silly experience of being a parent I guess.

Rhys!

Go Time!

Well, this is the real thing. Jen woke up this morning at 3 AM with cramps, which slowly gave way to contractions. She woke me up at about 7:00 and said she needed me with her. I could tell that this time was different.

We packed our bags and drove into the doctor's office where she got checked out. Already 5 centimeters and 90% effaced! There was a brief moment of panic when she thought she had progressed far enough to be ineligable for an epidural, but we were assured that it was still an option. Next we were shipped off to the hospital.

By the time we got through rush hour traffic and got checked in she had dilated to six centimeters, and things have been progressing smoothly since. After the initial excitement things have calmed down a little and we are basically waiting.

I'm nervous but excited. I can't believe that we're going to be going home with a new person in a couple of days. Occasionally I hear women screeching and babies crying in nearby rooms. They have a pretty good setup here. The room is comfortable and I have a wireless connection, so I'm able to give email updates to family and friends.

Trying to be helpful, keep Jen's mind off of things, help her relax. So far I've read her a chapter out of a David Sidaris book, and we've looked through some pictures of the cats. Still have a few more things in my bag of tricks, hopefully they last.

The Doctors think it's going to happen this evening. Wow.

Going into the Home Stretch

Hi everyone,

Well we passed the 8th month and are a little into the 9th. Pregnancy now is 99% not fun, I'm bloated, tired, can't move easily and sleeping is getting tough. I guess what is most frustrating is that I am used to doing work, working out, life stuff quickly and efficiently and to not be able to do that is an adjustment.

I had a minor event happen last week. I was amped to be at work, I love my job and my departmebnt is great, and I was all hyper and ended up twisting my ankle and falling, scraping my knee on the way down, going down like horse. People at work were like "ARE YOU OK" and "I'M TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY!" It was a little shocking, I thought I was fine but called the dr to be sure and they wanted to monitor me. The first hour was fine but I ended up going into labor and they gave me a shot to stop the contractions which worked. Jesse and I ended up at the hospital for about 6 hours! At one point, I heard this woman screeching like a bird in a cage w/ a cat, it was intense. Then she stopped and a little bit later, I heard a baby crying. It was touching :)

Anyhow, we've gotten a TON of support from faily and friends! My two best friends, Mary and Nicole, flew in last month to throw a baby shower for us at our house. They took pictures of our bedding, jungle themed w/ little lions on it, and had custom cookies made of the lions, came up w/ cute fortune sayings and made custom fortune cookies, made quiches and had a ton of pasteries and bagels and flowers in our place. It was a true surprise how much work they put into it, it was so touching. We had a ton of friends over, it was great seeing them at our house and we got some really nice swag, a ton of baby clothes and some bottles, essentials etc.

Captain likes baby gifts too

Then my old company, GD, had us over for lunch and gave us some cute clothes, and then my current employer, Apple, threw us a baby shower. It was amaazing how generous and supportive everyone was, we were surprised and felt really cared for.

Thus, we're all set for the first few months w/ all the clothing and basic equipemnt we could need, which is a great blessing. We've been to a few classes, childbirth prep and newborn care, and have set everything up and washed everything. Its now about the waiting...

Jen

Being Prepared

This whole baby thing really creeps up on you. Since the last time we touched this blog, we've gone through months seven and eight. Just four weeks left!

I notice that people are now constantly asking me if I am ready. I would say that I am prepared, in the sense that all of the logistical preparations are complete: we've got the crib, the stroller, and the car seat. We've had the baby shower, the labor classes (hee, hee, hee, whoooo), and the infant care classes. We've both had strange and sudden urges to clean, organize, and change the colors of our walls. We have 18 meals of chicken soup, turkey stew, and caveman chili in the freezer. We've done just about everything we can do ahead of time.

We had a minor scare last week. Jen took a minor fall at work and the doctor recommended that she go to the hospital for monitoring to make sure that everything is okay. She will go into more detail when she posts, but it was a dry run of labor, and it started to turn out to be an actual run.

Once I realized that we could possibly be going home with a baby, it all hit home for me. This is real. It's happening within the next month. This is going to be our new life. Very exciting, and pretty terrifying too.

These two goofballs are ready to be parents?

A few weeks ago we took our last vacation before the baby comes. We considered going somewhere exotic and relaxing, but beaches have never really done it for me, and Jen wasn't too thrilled about sporting a bathing suit now. In the end we decided to go up to San Francisco for the weekend, and we had a great time.

Despite living there for a couple of years, there are a lot of little things that we've never done. We had a picnic in Golden Gate Park, went to the Japanese Tea Garden, took the street car from our hotel to dinner at our favorite resturant. All in all it was a great way to relax before the baby comes, and we really needed it. Next time we go up there, things are certainly going to be a little different.

Jen at the tea gardens (month 7)

Save Me, I'm Getting Fat!

Hi everybody!

I hope you're doing well. Jesse asked me to write again so I am, I kind of owe it to him after a day of shopping. We're about to start our 3rd trimester, which is pretty exciting. I've suddenly gotten really big! Between months 5 and 6, I gained over 10 lbs, which I still haven't come to terms w/. Its a normal part of the process, but its difficult to imagine that I'll bounce back or even look similar to how I looked before. The baby is kicking a lot now, about 2 inches below my ribs. He still enjoys a good romp on my bladder and kicks for a while after that. Its cool b/c I'm learning his movement patterns, and I'm excited to see if they continue once he's on his own.

Our friends Nicole and Mary are giving us a baby shower in May, and we registered at Baby's R Us. Talk about overwhelming! I compiled a list of essentials from various sites on the web, including Baby's R Us and ran it by my sister Kelly to make sure that it looked good and to solicit opinions on what's the best thing to get. There's just a ton of stuff that you need to keep a baby going it's ridiculous. I don't know how it's going to fit in our house, but I have a feeling that our current clean new-ish look won't last too long.

Being pregnant is interesting. People always want to acknowledge your situation in some way, by making comments directly to you "That purse (this huge hobo bag) matches your belly!" to "Don't forget your Kegel exercises, they'll save your life" to "Just wait until they're teenagers, they'll drive you crazy and leave you for dead". At first it was disconcerting, but I've gotten used to it and now its like I'm bonding w/ the moms, a rite of passage.

Jesse and I have really settled into things. Of course I don't drink but Jesse's been my buddy to the core, he won't drink around me and really is there to hang out and chill and watch movies if that's all I'm up for. Work is going well, I'm in a new less-stressful job w/ more flexible hours, which is excellent for the impending baby situation.

Thanks for reading,

Four months: changes

Lot's of things change when you're pregnant. As a guy you notice some of them, more notably the morning sickness and visible fatigue that your wife feels. You notice a few of your own so-called sympathy effects. But a lot of it I don't think guys can really comprehend, at least on an emotional level.

For Jen I think she has the sense of being thrust into pregnancy, meaning that for her it is happening whether she likes it or not. For me it's been predominantly an intellectual exercise. I know that it's happening, and I know things are changing, but honestly I will go for several hours without thinking much about it. I don't mean this to say that I'm disinterested, which is certainly not the case, but rather that I have a certain amount of detachment that my wife doesn't have the option of enjoying. Sometimes it makes it hard to connect.

Jen hiking in the Mountains a few weeks ago

But I'm finding that this happens less and less as the weeks go by, that things become more real on an emotional level. I had the surprising experience of feeling my first kick earlier this week. Jen has been telling me about them for almost a month, but they've just now become strong enough as to be felt from the outside of her belly. The sensation is one that sticks with you, one that you replay in your head, like many poignant memories. It's the first real sense of attachment I've felt to the growing baby.

When you really start thinking about it it's frightening that you're going to become a father. You tell yourself on one hand that yes it's going to be difficult and a lot is going to be different, but it will work out. On the other hand you know that that's a silly understatement. You feel a tremendous sense of responsibility out on the horizon and it's hard to look at. I think the difference is that Jen gradually faces this a little more every day as her body changes and she feels more and more signs of what is happening inside, whereas I only have brief glimpses into this future.

I'm really amazed at how well Jen is handling everything. I try to help her out as much as I can. I'm finding that we're taking more impromptu ice cream runs lately, and that several trips downstairs for ice water and such are now commonplace. And I try to be there. I know that Jen appreciates all of this, and I know that we've many more exciting weeks ahead of us.

Jen (4 months!) and me

Jen's First Post

Hi everyone!

Its my first post on our new blog and yes, I'm pregnant. It took us over a year (off and on) of trying and it finally happened. It was a frustrating journey, but it really prepared us and gave us a deeper excitement for our current situation as opposed to having it happen right away. We had an early miscarriage the very first month out of the gate which was so startling and sad. After a few months passed, we did fertility testing and it still wasn't happening, so I gave up around September, signed up for the Big Sur Marathon and decided to go more hard core into ice hockey. Then it happened! It is like they say, you let it go and it'll come to you. I tried to convince myself multiple times during trying that I stopped thinking about it or stopped caring, but really I didn't. I think it had to come to the point where I was taking actual steps to put my money where my mouth was and move on.

Anyways, I'm in my 17th week, ending my 4th month. The first trimester was ... vomitous and tiring, and luckily the second one is much better. I'm showing now! Which is a bizarre thing, to have 2 waistlines instead of one- one under my bustline and one above my hips w/ this french cruller donut around my middle now. I've really been trying to eat well but luckily, babies can make little fingers out of McDonalds sausage mc muffins.

We've had a few ultrasounds and it nails home the whole reality of the situation. I'm still in disbelief that its really happening, that we're getting our shot at having a little Jen or Jesse, so its taking a while to settle in.

So thats it! Jesse's been great w/ taking care of things around the house b/c I've been sleeping (nap hours from 8:30-10pm nightly). I think having kids really tests the relationship, and even though we haven't had the kid yet, I think things will be great since its really bonded us together so far.

Jen